“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” — Oscar Wilde
Valentine’s Day can be a triggering day for many people, especially single women.
While others celebrate their romantic love partnership, you may feel that there’s no reason to celebrate.
Maybe you went through a break-up recently. Maybe your partner passed away. Maybe you’re in an unhappy relationship, or one where your partner is not very romantic.
Regardless of the reasons for how you feel, it’s important to acknowledge your emotions as real and valid. Journaling how you feel can help you to release some of your feelings from your body and onto paper. Talking to a supportive friend or professional can help too.
Giving Valentine’s Day a new meaning
“Love is the bridge between you and everything.” — Rumi
It can also be helpful to reframe what Valentine’s Day means…
While many view Valentine’s Day as a day for couples, or as a “Hallmark Holiday” designed to make people spend money, there’s a more uplifting way to look at this day.
I believe Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate LOVE…in all its forms. That includes love for:
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- Ourselves
- Our kids
- Our pets
- Our friends & family
- Our neighbours & community
- Humanity & the world at large
When we broaden our view of love beyond romantic love, Valentine’s Day becomes a day anyone can celebrate!
Taking this one step further, when we look at how we can generate feelings of love (rather than waiting for someone to create those feelings for us), now we’re able to take charge of how we feel and create the feelings we want to have regardless of our current personal circumstances.
Personally, I’ve spent more Valentine’s Days single than as part of a couple. I used to resist and dread this day, but I’ve found it far more empowering to embrace this day as one where I share love with everyone around me…including myself! 😊
14 ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day…even if you’re single!
So what does that look like exactly…how can you celebrate Valentine’s Day if you’re single?
Here are 14 ideas…the first seven focus on ways to show love to yourself, and the next seven focus on ways to show love to others.
Loving yourself
“To love yourself as you are is a miracle.” — Anne Lamott
1. Write a love letter to you– Write a letter to yourself about all the things you love about you!
2. Create something beautiful– Draw, paint, sculpt, knit, scrapbook…express who you are!
3. Treat yourself – Why wait for someone else to do something nice for you? Treat yourself as you want a romantic partner to, and do something nice for yourself. Wish someone bought you flowers? Buy some for yourself. (Thanks for the reminder, Miley Cyrus!) Want a massage? Book one. Or have a candle lit bubble bath with wine and relaxing music.
4. Get outside – Get out in nature…go for a walk, ski, skate, snowshoeing…fresh air lifts the spirits!
5. Take yourself on a date– Go to a restaurant, movie, concert…anything you enjoy! (You can also look for Meetup Events for singles in your area.)
6. Make yourself a candlelit dinner– Buy or make your favourite dinner. Top it off with a candlelit bath with soft music…be decadent and eat chocolates while you’re in the bath! (Those of us who have done this before shall remain nameless.)
7. Watch a movie– Go see your favourite funny or romantic movie, or watch one at home (with popcorn, of course).
Loving others
“Do small things with great love.” — Mother Teresa
8. Make a list of people who love you– Love doesn’t just come in the form of a romantic partner. You probably have much more love in your life than you realize. Make a list of the many people you love (who love you back). Pause to think of how special each person is. Better yet, send them a note to thank them for being in your life!
9. Reach out to people you love– You do not have to be alone (unless you want to be). Reach out to someone you know, and invite them to do something with you (or have a phone or video call).
10. Recall memories of being loved– Your brain can’t tell the difference between real and imagined events. Spend some time recalling times when you felt loved, and bask in the good feelings.
11. Make a loved one’s day special– I love doing special things to brighten my kids’ day. If you don’t have kids, try doing something special for a friend, family, neighbour, or even stranger.
12. Give free hugs – Give 14 hugs (in person or virtually). Others crave connection just like you do!
13. Do something nice for a friend or stranger– One of the best ways to feel better is to help someone else feel better. When you give love, you feel love. Do something nice for someone else, like give them flowers or pay for their coffee.
14. Have a frienddate– Schedule a get-together with a gal pal (in person or virtual)…it’s a great way to celebrate!
Being single doesn’t have to be a time you dread…it can be an empowering time when you enjoy your freedom, rediscover your dreams and passions, and do more of what you love…on your own, or with others.
Wishing you a Happy Valentine’s Day filled with love…regardless of your relationship status!
xo Karen
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