“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” — George Bernard Shaw

There’s a moment in every woman’s life when she realizes she’s been living small.

Maybe it’s when you hear yourself saying “I’m fine” for the hundredth time when you’re anything but. Maybe it’s when you see someone else unapologetically living their best life and think, Could I ever be that bold? That free? Or maybe it’s just a quiet knowing that you’ve been playing the role you thought you should play, rather than living as the woman you are.

That moment of realization can feel like standing at a crossroads. One road leads back to the comfort of the familiar—of staying quiet, shrinking to fit, keeping the peace to please people.

The other road? That’s the path of your empowered self. It’s messy, uncertain, and often uncomfortable. But it’s also where your joy lives.

Why your identity matters

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

When we act from our smaller disempowered self, we’re often operating out of fear, shame, or scarcity. We say yes when we mean no because we’re afraid of disappointing others. We silence our opinions because we don’t want to seem like “too much.” We stay in jobs, relationships, or routines that drain us because we believe this is the best life we can have…that we can have more.

Our disempowered self is that inner critic who whispers, Who do you think you are to ask for more? To take up space? To speak your truth? It’s the part of us that believes we’re not enough as we are, so we bend and twist ourselves into someone we think the world will approve of.

Living from this place shapes the results we get in life. It’s why we end up resentful, overextended, and disconnected—from others and from ourselves. It’s why our relationships feel transactional instead of transformational, and why our dreams feel perpetually out of reach.

In contrast, our empowered self is rooted in worthiness. She knows that her value isn’t tied to her productivity, her appearance, or other people’s opinions. She trusts herself. She sets boundaries not out of anger, but out of an unshakable belief that her time, energy, and heart are sacred resources.

When we live from our empowered self, we approach life differently. We stop performing and start being. We engage in relationships where we can show up fully, knowing that we are loved not for what we do, but for who we are.

We take risks because we trust that even if we fail, we are still enough.

How empowerment changes everything

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” — Theodore Roosevelt

When you step into your most empowered self, everything changes.

• • Your relationships deepen. Empowerment allows you to show up authentically, which invites others to do the same. You stop settling for surface-level connections and start building closer relationships based on trust, vulnerability, and mutual respect.
  • You set boundaries without guilt. Saying no becomes less about rejection and more about self-respect. You stop overextending yourself and start prioritizing what truly matters.
  • You take ownership of your choices. Empowerment isn’t about blaming others for what’s gone wrong in your life…it’s about recognizing your ability to make different choices. You stop waiting for someone else to fix things and start creating the life you want through your own decisions and actions.
  • You experience more joy. When you stop living according to someone else’s script, you create space for what truly lights you up. Life becomes less about getting by and more about thriving.

Stepping into your empowered self

“We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are.” — Max DePree

So, how do you step into your empowered self? It’s not a one-time decision…it’s a daily practice.

• • Get clear on who you are. Spend time reflecting on your values, passions, and needs. Who are you when you’re not trying to impress anyone?
  • Challenge the stories that hold you back. So many of the beliefs that keep us stuck—I’m not good enough, I’ll fail, I can’t handle this—are just stories we’ve told ourselves over time. Question them. Rewrite them.
  • Practice vulnerability. Empowerment isn’t about having it all together; it’s about being honest about where you’re at. Share your struggles. Ask for help. Let others see the real you.
  • Surround yourself with people who empower you. Seek out relationships where you feel safe to grow, experiment, and be imperfect. Let go of connections that make you feel small.
  • Celebrate your progress. Empowerment isn’t a destination…it’s a journey. Honour the moments when you choose yourself—whether it’s setting a boundary, speaking your truth, or simply being kinder to yourself.

The ripple effect of empowerment

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” — George Eliot

When you live from your empowered self, you don’t just change your own life—you inspire others to do the same. You become the friend, partner, mother who shows others what’s possible when we stop living small.

You don’t have to be perfect to be powerful. You just have to be willing to show up, again and again, as the truest version of yourself. That’s where your magic lives. That’s where your life begins to transform.

So, the next time you’re standing at that crossroads, ask yourself: Which version of me do I want to lead my life? And then take one small, brave step toward the woman you were always meant to be.

You’ve got this. 💛

xo Karen

Resources

You may be interested in these resources:

• • Your beliefs are the blueprint for your life (blog post)
  • The awakening: Why a mid-life crisis can be a true gift (blog post)
  • Transform Your Life: How to thrive as an empowered woman (program)

Share your ideas

What more would be possible in your life if you lived from your most empowered self? Please share…