woman's hand on keyboard
Dating | Finding your soulmate

Trust your gut: Mistakes to avoid when dating

May 7, 2025

Posted by Karen Strang Allen

“Be patient. The person meant for you will show up when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.” – Mandy Hale

 

Dating can be exhilarating, nerve-wracking, and downright confusing. It’s a journey of vulnerability, learning and connection—but it’s also a path lined with potential pitfalls. As a love and empowerment coach, I’ve seen countless women make the same mistakes in love, often unintentionally putting their hearts, minds and even safety at risk.

Here’s the thing: finding love requires courage, but it also requires boundaries. To create the healthy, fulfilling relationship you deserve, it’s important to approach dating with both an open heart and a discerning mind.

So let’s talk about how to stay safe while dating, and highlight some of the most common mistakes women make when looking for love.

Mistake #1: Ignoring the red flags

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Maya Angelou

 

It’s easy to get swept up in chemistry. The butterflies, the laughter, the late-night texts—it’s intoxicating! But too often, we overlook signs that a potential partner might not be right for us.

Maybe they’re inconsistent with their communication, dismissive of your feelings, or quick to anger. Maybe they push you to go faster than you’re comfortable with, and ignore your boundaries. These red flags show up early if you pay attention. Trust your gut. Your intuition is your best ally when it comes to protecting your heart.

Pro tip: If something feels “off,” don’t ignore it. Ask yourself: Am I rationalizing behaviour I wouldn’t tolerate from a friend?

Mistake #2: Rushing the process

“The right relationship won’t rush you. It will unfold naturally, just as it’s meant to.” – Alex Elle

 

In a culture of instant gratification, it’s tempting to rush into a relationship. But love isn’t a race—it’s a journey. When you move too quickly, you skip the crucial stages of getting to know someone deeply, and that premature choice can land you in a world of hurt.

Take your time to observe how they treat others, how they handle stress, and whether their words align with their actions.

Pro tip: Slow down. A healthy relationship is built on a foundation of trust, respect and shared values—not urgency.

Mistake #3: Sacrificing your standards

“The right person will enhance your life, not complicate it.” – Karen Salmansohn

 

One of the most common mistakes I see is women settling for less than they deserve. Maybe you think, “I should just be grateful someone’s interested in me,” or “No one’s perfect—I can see his potential!” But compromising on your values, vision or boundaries never leads to lasting happiness.

Pro tip: Remember, you’re not “too picky.” You’re allowed to have standards. A great partner will have as much to offer to a relationship as you do.

Mistake #4: Neglecting basic safety precautions

“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” – Tony Gaskins

 

While dating, your emotional safety is important—but so is your physical safety. We live in a world where it’s vital to take precautions, especially when meeting someone new.

  • Don’t invest in a text-based “relationship” with someone you’ve never met. Either meet within a week or two of connecting online, or move on. Someone who makes excuses for not meeting in person is likely a romance scammer.
  • Always meet in a public place for the first few dates, and let a trusted friend or family member know where you’ll be and who you’ll be with.
  • Trust your instincts—if someone pressures you or makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s okay to walk away.

Pro tip: Your safety isn’t negotiable. Prioritize it unapologetically.

Mistake #5: Repeating old patterns

“Finding real love starts with understanding yourself.” – Karen Strang Allen

 

Have you ever found yourself dating the same type of person over and over again, even when it doesn’t work out? This isn’t a coincidence. We’re often drawn to what feels familiar—even if it’s unhealthy.

Breaking free from these patterns requires self-awareness, professional support, and a willingness to do the inner work. You can’t change the past, but you can change how you show up in the present.

Ready to break the cycle?

Here’s the truth: finding real love starts with understanding yourself. Why do you keep choosing the wrong partners? What beliefs, fears, or wounds might be holding you back?

This is where I can help. During a Love Breakthrough Session, we’ll dive deep into your relationship history, uncover what’s been getting in the way of love, and create a customized strategy to help you change your patterns—for good.

And the best part? Right now, these sessions are FREE (for a limited time).

You’re only one conversation away from the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for.

👉 Book your Love Breakthrough Session today and take the first step toward the empowered love you deserve.

You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Let’s work together to help you stop settling, start thriving, and create the extraordinary relationship you’ve been dreaming of.

xo Karen

Share your thoughts

What challenges have you experienced when dating? Let’s start a conversation in the comments.

Resources

If you’re ready to dive deeper into creating the love you deserve, I invite you to check out my free trainings:

You may also enjoy these articles:

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

If you’d like to join a global community of single women who want to heal, feel empowered and support each other, I invite you to join my Empowered Single Women – loving life and attracting love Facebook group

About the author

Karen Strang Allen

Karen is a love and empowerment coach for single women. Widowed at 22 and separated at 35, Karen’s mission is to help single women feel great about who they are and create a life they love so they attract their dream partner. 

Learn More about Karen