“There are two lasting bequests we can give our children: one is roots, the other is wings.” — Hodding Carter

I wasn’t prepared for the sadness I felt as I watched other people’s kids walk to school this week. (My home is walking distance to the nearby elementary school.)

It’s a trek my two have done many times – only they won’t anymore. That’s because my son (19) and daughter (17) are now both in university. So they’ll no longer be coming home at 2:45 pm each day, stopping by my desk to get a hug and tell me about what’s new in their world.

I thought I was ready to become an “empty nester.” But I’m not sure as a parent you can fully prepare for the loud silence in your home once there’s no one else here but you. Or for the adjustment in going from prioritizing everything around your children to wondering what to do with yourself. 😊

(Can you relate?)

Of course, I’m proud of my kids and happy for them that they’ve successfully spread their wings. They are healthy, happy, and have great friends. We want our kids to “launch” and be independent…but it’s a strange transition as a parent when they don’t need you anymore. (At least, not nearly as much.)

I love the reframe my chiropractor gave me around this…he said, “You’re a bird launcher, not an empty nester.” 😊 And I know I still have other “birds” to launch through my business of empowering women to live their best lives and create healthy, happy relationships.

I also know that this time of transition is an opportunity for me to reclaim some of the energy I poured into them and pour it back into me.

If you can relate to this, if you’re struggling with the silence of an empty nest, let’s talk about what might help to ease this transition period a bit…

5 ways to navigate the empty nest transition

“An empty nest is not the end. It is the beginning of something new—for them, and for you.” — Karen Strang Allen  

1. Give yourself space to grieve (and practice self-care).
It’s okay to feel sad, even lonely. You’ve devoted years of your life to raising your children, so of course you’ll feel the loss of their daily presence. Instead of pushing those feelings away, allow them to move through you. Journal, cry, take long walks in nature, or create a letting go ritual. And while you’re grieving, nurture yourself the way you nurtured your kids—affirm yourself, rest, eat well, get some fresh air, and comfort your spirit.

2. Rediscover who you are outside of your children.
Being a parent has likely been one of your most important identities, but it’s not your only one. Ask yourself: What lights me up now? Maybe it’s a hobby you set aside, travel you’ve been putting off, or a new skill you’ve always wanted to learn. This is your time to reconnect with your passions, dreams and the parts of you that may have been on hold.

3. Build new friendships (or re-invest in old ones).
For years, your social life may have revolved around your children’s schedules, activities and friends. Now you get to choose who you want to spend time with. This could mean deepening connections with existing friends, reconnecting with people you’ve lost touch with, or making new friends who share your current interests. A fresh circle of support can bring joy and companionship to this new chapter in your life.

4. Continue connecting with your kids.
Your relationship with your kids isn’t over; it’s simply changing. Your kids may not need you in the same way as before, but they still value your love, guidance and support. Create new traditions—weekly text check-ins or calls, special activities you both enjoy, or even shared hobbies from a distance. Respecting your young adult’s independence while providing emotional support and nurturing your bond can help both you and your children adjust to this new dynamic.

5. Find a new sense of purpose & meaning.
Raising children has given your life incredible purpose. But now, you have the opportunity to ask: What’s next for me? You could find a new sense of purpose through volunteering, mentoring others, pursuing creative projects, starting a business, deepening your spiritual practice, or expanding your career. Think of this as a chance to create a life that is deeply meaningful, not just for others, but for you too!

Pouring back into you

“Your children are flying because you taught them how. Now it’s your turn.” — Karen Strang Allen

As you navigate through this transition period, there is no better time than now to pour back into you the love, tenderness and energy you once poured into your children.

If you would like some support in re-discovering who you are, rebuilding a joyful & purposeful life, and creating healthy relationships, I invite you to consider my Transform Your Life program. It is a great way to purposefully build a life you love after a major transition (like retirement, divorce, or the kids leaving home).

You deserve the love you give to others. You deserve to make yourself a priority in your own life. This transition period is an opportunity to rediscover who you are and start a new chapter in life!

To your happiness,

xo Karen